I was at my mother-in-law’s house for New Year’s Eve and I had a memorable conversation with a good friend of hers. I was complaining about all the cat hair in our house, and how it’s starting to get on my nerves now that Luke is mobile. She suggested I brush the cats with a flea comb once a day to help cut down on the shedding. Just a quick brush, 30 seconds at most. Keep the comb by the food so I won’t forget, she says. I rejected her suggestion by listing all the other things I have to remember to do on a daily basis and ranting that I already had to add to the list brushing my teeth at night, cuz the dentist told me to. She thought I was joking because she had never met anyone who did not brush their teeth at least twice a day. (She must not get out much. We’re everywhere, trust me.) I also confessed that I don’t scoop the cat litter nearly as much as I should, though I know it’s not healthy for the cats and it just makes more work for me in the end.

In the end. That’s the part I never think about. When I procrastinate scooping the cat litter it becomes a nasty, crappy mess that is extremely frustrating to clean up. When I procrastinate washing the dishes the food gets all stuck on and they pile up in the sink and it takes even longer to wash them. Not to mention it makes cooking dinner a pain in the arse. But no, I would rather watch tv or read or blog or crochet than do simple tasks. I choose immediate gratification before responsibility. The problem is that making that choice does not erase the responsibility,  it just makes it more stressful. It still needs to be done and no one is going to do it for me (I’m still waiting to hear from my Congressman).

I have been doing this all my life. Just ask my mother. Two words: Potty. Training. My mother tells me the stories, telling me what a stubborn little girl I was. She doesn’t need to convince me. I remember. I remember knowing I had to go but wanting to keep coloring or watching tv. Even at 5 years old I would rather sit in my own filth than stop playing for a short time and do what has to be done.

That conversation over New Year’s has been replaying in my head ever since. I keep hearing myself whining about stupid crap like brushing my teeth or combing the cats. These are things that take nano-seconds. I’m turning 30 this year and I’m still acting like that 5 year old who pees her pants. Well, no more! The worm has turned and I am already on my way to creating new habits. I have scooped the cat litter every day this year. For the last seven days I have been faithfully brushing my teeth, washing the dishes, vacuuming the floors, and packing my lunches. I even started exercising! I walked around the neighborhood early in the morning before work last Friday and again this morning. I bought a work-out video last weekend and learned how horribly out of shape I am, but the whole time I was working out I could envision the weight slowly coming off. I was not looking for Motivation but Motivation found me.

It’s all about trading bad habits for good. I need to resist the habit of plopping on the couch with the remote until not plopping on the couch feels like the normal thing to do. Habits require little thought or motivation. I don’t have to put showering on my to-do list because I’ve been doing it for most of my life. I don’t remind myself to drink coffee in the morning because I do it every day. If I keep up with these new habits for long enough, eventually I won’t have to remind myself or keep a checklist, and eventually they won’t feel like work (I’m hoping). In the end, my life will be calmer and less stressful. I need to keep my eye on that end result and remember that playtime is so much more enjoyable when your chores are done. Besides, it’s hard to color inside the lines when you’re doing the pee-pee dance.

“The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.” ~John Dewey

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” ~Romans 12:2