Are you tired of me talking about the miscarriage yet? I don’t mean to make it a big deal, but in all honesty it’s the only thing that’s been on my mind lately. Women who I know and love have been through miscarriages, some multiple miscarriages, and yet I did not know until having experienced it myself how horribly painful it is. However, I am extremely grateful to God that I was warned ahead of time so that I did not have to suffer through the emotional trauma and the physical pain all at the same time.

Miscarriage sucks. Miscarriage is ugly. There is no good part of it except the part at the end when you are just relieved it’s all over (yet still that’s bittersweet because now you have to decide if and when you will be ready to try again). I started bleeding Wednesday but it didn’t really get bad until Friday afternoon. Horrible clotting and cramping (or contractions, more accurately). I had clotting on Saturday morning that scared the hell out of me, so I phoned a friend and she graciously dropped everything to take me to the E.R. Normally I would have had my husband accompany me but my friend was better suited for this situation. Mike is always good for support in any situation but I needed someone with a little expertise with the girly things. Thankfully the doctor determined I was okay and not losing too much blood, so they sent me home to rest with lots of water and ibuprofen.

Saturday was hell. I made more trips to the bathroom than I care to admit and the contractions were fairly debilitating. I consider myself to have a high pain tolerance but ibuprofen is my miracle drug and I am not too proud to take it. Today has gone much better. The worst is over now and I am so relieved. Bleeding has slowed, contractions have minimized (though my uterus hasn’t seemed to have returned to it’s original size, which is like the cruelest joke ever), and I am ready to go back to work tomorrow and get on with my life. Oh, and the good news is that all the ice cream I’ve been eating (you know, to “cope”) has not affected my weight. I stepped on the scale today and I haven’t gained a thing! I was able to enjoy all the frozen creamy goodness with no guilt at the end. See, there’s always a silver lining…

I want to thank those of you who have thrown such kind words my way. I am blessed with an amazing support system. It’s humbling really, and I only hope that I will not pass up opportunities to return the love in the future.