Michael - “How can you tell someone you care about deeply, ‘I told you so’?”

Michael - “You are a thief of joy.”

Jim - In reference to spending the entire day watching Dwight to see if he spent any time on personal matters (i.e. sneezing, taking potty breaks), and consequently not doing any actual work himself: “It’s exhausting, being this vigilant. I think I’m gonna need to go home early.”