Oh crap. I can’t believe I haven’t blogged in six days. Aren’t you all just waiting on the edge of your seats, like “what will she say next? it’s been a whole six days, come on! I just can’t stand it!” I stole the words right out of your mouth, I’m sure.

I will tell you why I haven’t been blogging much lately. It’s weird, I’m actually enjoying spending time with real live people. In person. For real. This is quite a change for me, this major introvert, and I can only attribute it to God remodeling my heart in that sneaky way he does (I love his sneaky ways).

It all started when I began reading the book, UnChristian. It’s about the perceptions people have of Christianity. It’s a sobering book. While reading the first half I kept saying to myself, “yeah, I hate Christians that are like that!” and then through the second half my tune changed to “wow, I’m like that too”. The book really pointed me to a very fundamental problem in my life. Without airing ALL my sins (there’s just not enough time) I will say that one of my greatest issues is that I am incredibly insensitive towards other people. Thoughtfulness does not come naturally to me. I say things that hurt others’ feelings without realizing it. If someone is talking to me, I don’t listen because I’m thinking of the next thing I want to say. I don’t call people enough. I don’t return my emails. I avoid people who are doing things I don’t approve of because I think I’m better than them.

I am very ashamed of this.

But the good news is that when God teaches me a lesson he makes sure to drill it in tight so I won’t forget. It started with the book. It continued when I decided to make a better effort to be plugged into my church by joining a bible study. As it turns out, the study they were just getting ready to dive into was one all about reaching out to people. I did not know this when I joined, but I find it hilariously appropriate. I guess this is the journey God wants me on right now. It’s a good journey, and a way overdue one at that. I mean, this is what Jesus Christ was all about - people - so it’s about time I started caring too (I’ve been calling myself a Christian since I was 7). For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I genuinely want to see people the way Christ sees them. And I believe God is starting to help me out with that.

I have always had a hard time seeing people the way Christ does, mainly because I was afraid of them. I’ve always been nervous around strangers, but after that first night of bible study I realized something - not once did I feel an ounce of anxiety about meeting the other members of the group, most of whom I had never met before. To go even further, I stayed late because I was having such a blast getting to know them better! The hostess still can’t believe it when I say I’m an introvert.

It’s just a start, but I’m not sweatin’ it because life is all about the journey. If God wanted us perfect right off the bat he wouldn’t have sent Jesus and there would be no use for grace. I am a huge fan of grace, and I’ll take all I can get of it. Lord knows I need it. Of course he knows, he’s GOD