I was reading a blog discussion tonight about the question of how many children to have (whether it is okay to have just one or should you have more). The comments were all very positive and interesting and it got me thinking. It’s something I’ve thought a lot about but I don’t think I’ve ever really expressed my thoughts on the blog.

My first thought is this: One should never just assume they have a choice in this sort of matter. Mike and I struggled with infertility for 7 years and eventually came to the point where we were content with the size of our family – just the two of us and the cats. However, with a bit of medical help and lots of prayer we gave it one last shot, and that’s when I ended up pregnant. My hope for a child had been depleted so often throughout those 7 years that it makes having Luke here with us now an enormous blessing. Not a day goes by where we don’t realize what a gift he is to us.

My second thought is this: One child can be enough. Someone asked me last week, “so you have just one?” Just one – that’s such an understatement. He is THE one. The one we prayed for, hoped for, dreamed of. Don’t get me wrong, when I got pregnant last June we were ecstatic at the thought of having a second child. But when I miscarried in August, as painful as it was, I was not devastated (well, maybe a little at first). I had asked God to let me be a mother and he answered that prayer. That’s really all I could ever ask for. And for those who believe it’s sad for a child to have no siblings, hear this: Mike grew up an only child and he was not scarred in any way. He was not lonely; he had several friends who he is still friends with today. He had great parents; they loved him and raised him to be an honest, hard-working man. I happen to know him pretty well and I think he turned out fantastic! And if that doesn’t convince you, go read the testimonies at Swistle’s blog.

My third thought is this: I don’t do well with chaos. I often have Simon and Garfunkel singing “Feeling Groovy” in my head: “Slow down, you move too fast….”. I don’t want to miss a moment and I don’t want to be so busy that I end up in my 70′s wishing I had spent more quality time with the people I love. For as long as I can remember I dreamed of growing up to get married and be a mother, but that dream never involved having oodles of children. Maybe that’s because even at the tender age of 12 I knew my limits. I don’t like who I become when I’m busy and overcommitted and stressed. It gets ugly.

I am extremely content with where our lives are right now. It feels balanced. It feels calm. Now I’m not saying we’ve made any conclusive decision on whether to have more children or not. To be honest, it’s none of anyone’s business anyway. I’m just saying that I’m good with where we’re at.