I went to see a doctor last night. In my dreams. It felt strangely real. I met one doctor that told me I had Allergies. Kind of like saying you have Rheumatoid Arthritis, or you have Cancer. You have Allergies! Oh no! But don’t worry, they’ll get better sometimes. And then they’ll get worse, and then they’ll get better again. It’s almost like I live in Michigan.

So then I saw a dentist and he showed me my teeth with a mirror. In the dream I could not believe what I was seeing so I kept staring at the mirror, over and over again. My right molars were rotting from the inside and it was as if someone had cut a cross section of them so I could get a better look. And after a few minutes of staring, the dentist grabbed my teeth and yanked them right out of my mouth. I was horrified. When I woke up, I was still horrified. I still can’t get the image out of my head.

So that dream about the dentist is reinforcing the strong advice my actual dentist is giving me about brushing and most importantly, flossing. Of course I forgot to brush and floss before I went to bed last night so the dream was totally stemming out of a sense of guilt. But whatever motivates me, guilt or nightmares, as long as it gets me flossing I’ll be better off. I had to have seven fillings last year, and just found out that I need four more. And possible four after that unless I get my act together. They told me that these particular cavities are between the teeth, meaning there is no doubt the cause is my lack of flossing, which I admit has been my weakness since I don’t know, forever. I scheduled my appointment to get the fillings on my birthday. How’s that? Happy birthday! You’re 32! Now grow up already and floss your damn teeth.