Natalie discovered her thumb today. I just think it’s the cutest thing ever. Luke is a thumb sucker. He only sucks his thumb when he’s tired, and it’s almost always accompanied by his blanket. Natalie is not even three months old yet. I don’t think Luke started sucking his thumb that early, but I really don’t remember. I just know I loved that he could suck his thumb for comfort as a baby. It’s way easier than having to worry about a pacifier. It’s always handy! So if Natalie wants to be a thumb sucker too, I’m all for it!

I haven’t blogged nearly enough about my daughter Natalie. You can’t blame me really, I’ve had a lot going on with my health that has really distracted me. Not from Natalie, but from being sure to write about her.

But today I had a moment that I want to remember. It was an ordinary moment, but memorable in a way. I was just sitting here on the couch feeding Natalie, staring at her as I usually do. But then I locked eyes with hers and I had a mental glimpse of what she might look like as an older girl. And in that moment I fell completely, head over heels in love with her. Better late than never, right? She’s two months old. I’m not saying I didn’t love her before, but I just hadn’t made that certain connection.

It’s the eyes. She smiles first with her eyes, and then her lips. She has such beautiful, big, blue eyes. Ironically, every time we try to catch those beautiful eyes on film, she gives us something like this:

Something tells me this girl is going to have a sense of humor. She’s gonna have to if she’s going to survive living in this family!

My goal was to get Natalie sleeping through the night before I go back to work, which is in two weeks. She is 6 weeks old now. I thought that to get her sleeping through the night by 8 weeks of age would be realistic but also kind of wishful thinking in a way. But guess what? She’s sleeping pretty darn good already! She takes naps during the day with ease, and at night she is sleeping longer and longer stretches. She had been going five hours between feedings for several nights in a row, and then on Friday she woke up after only 3 1/2 hours. Knowing she could go longer, I did what I had done with Luke when he was around that age. I calmed her down and put her back in the crib instead of feeding her. Lo and behold, she fell right asleep and didn’t wake up for another three hours! I was thrilled, overjoyed, giddy with glee. I know you are too, but just wait. It gets even better. The next night we fed her at 9 pm at the family Christmas party, drove home, then put her to bed promptly. The girl didn’t wake up until 5 am! Last night we fed her at 9:30 and she slept until 5:30 this morning. That’s eight hours between feedings and in my book that’s called sleeping through the night. I can totally handle 5 am. In fact, I love 5 am. Five a.m is my friend. It’s quiet, peaceful, dark. I know 2 a.m. is just the same, but it’s really not the same. It’s different. It’s eerie and tired and miserable. Two a.m. can shove it for all I care.

I’ve always kind of bragged about my son being such a great sleeper. He’s two and a half and he’s been a great sleeper from the very beginning. Now that I have a newborn again, I was on a search for help with sleeping babies. And then it hit me! When Luke was a newborn I read The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg, at the suggestion of a neighbor. That book was what saved me, and what allowed me to return to work after seven weeks and be lucid enough to be effective. I can’t believe I had forgotten all about it! I found some excerpts from the book via a google search and as I read them it all came back to me. So last night I vowed to start working the E.A.S.Y. method right away. And you know what? It’s given me renewed hope. I’ve been so unbelievably exhausted and Mike and I have had to work out some crazy shifts to ensure that we both get enough sleep, but with this new plan I’m extremely hopeful.

Here it is in a nutshell: baby Eats, baby has Activity time, baby Sleeps, then it’s Your time. E.A.S.Y. It involves two feedings in the evening that are two hours apart instead of three, called cluster feedings. After that second cluster feed you skip the Activity time and go straight to Sleep. Also it stresses that when you put the baby down for a nap, you just swaddle her up tight and lay her down awake in the crib. If you were correct in interpreting her cues and she’s really tired, she’ll manage to go asleep on her own. I’ve been following this method all day and it’s been so wonderful already. It’s just nice to have a plan, you know? I know we’ll have a little trouble in the evening as she’s getting used to this (she’s usually wide awake in the late evening, hence our problem) but I know it can work if we stick with it. Hey, it worked for Luke!

We’re home now. All settled in. What can I say about Natalie Joy? She sleeps a lot, as newborns do. She sleeps heavy during the day and light at night. Just like in the womb, where she was very active in the evening when her momma was trying to sleep. During the day she’ll sleep long stretches in the crib but not so much overnight. Those are the times I keep her snuggled close to me and we sleep together on the couch.

She’s doing very well with bottle feeding. Every 3 – 4 hours, it’s a schedule I can certainly keep up with. She is always happy to take that next bottle, and she finishes it each time. We’re not surprised that she’s such a good eater. She comes from a long line of good eaters.

There’s a whole different dynamic here at the house. Most of the time it’s just me, Mike, and Natalie. Luke has been with Grandpa for much of the time. It helps to have him cared for while we are in these early days with Natalie, but I miss him. I don’t feel like I’m adjusting all that well to the new dynamic, but I know with time I’ll start to find the new normal.

The injections for the MS are going much better than expected. I haven’t experienced hardly any side effects, and with the auto injector they gave me the actual injections are pretty pain-free. I think what’s hardest for me at the moment is the slow realization that these injections are indefinite and are a permanent part of my life now. Three days a week, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I need to take the medicine whether I feel like it or not. After today’s injection I certainly did not feel like taking any more injections ever but thank goodness I have two days to muster up the courage for the next one. I think I’m going to have to make sure I have a few people close to me holding me accountable to sticking with it, at least until I get used to it. I’m told I’ll get used to it eventually.

I’m trying to simply enjoy this time with my new little girl but I have this anger looming in the background. I’m angry that I have to be dealing with this damn MS at a time when I should be on Cloud Nine. I am having a hard time focusing on the Joy in front of me. Perhaps if I just let the anger out – in a healthy way of course – it will quit the persistent tapping on my shoulder. I’m not sure what letting it out would look like so for now I’ll use my fall-back distraction – TV (lovin’ the DVR). Although it does help to focus on the positive. This precious, adorable, sweet video for example:

Luke and Natalie from Mindy Richmond on Vimeo.

Forget Halloween. Forget Thanksgiving. Christmas will be here before you know it, and that is all that’s on my mind right now. I’m listening to Christmas carols on my ipod and it’s really getting me into the Christmas spirit. As I’m sitting here contemplating the miracle of Christ’s birth all those years ago, I’m thinking of the anticipation people must have been feeling. In a world of pain and suffering, the coming King was their source of hope and joy.

I guess you could say I’m in my own little world of pain and suffering right now, in definite need of hope and joy. The MS diagnosis is still fresh on my mind and I am still in extreme discomfort. There is so much to process and learn. So much room for fear and yet I continue to look to my Saviour for hope and joy in the midst of it all. It’s not a tangible source, and God knows that, so he has given me something real, something I can hold on to – in the literal sense, not the figurative.

He has given me a baby girl: Natalie Joy. She will be born in just a few short weeks and the anticipation of seeing her face and holding her in my arms is what’s keeping me on the sunny side. I’m choosing the name “Natalie” to remind me of the miracle birth of Christ (it literally means “Christ’s birthday”) and ”Joy” to remind me that there is always joy to be found in the midst of pain. Also I think it’s a beautiful name and Mike agrees

This baby girl in my belly is set to be born in 3 weeks and we still have not settled on a name. We have been trying on names to see how they fit but up until this point I hadn’t been able to commit to any of them.  As of this morning I think I decided on a winner (Mike says I have final say since he took the lead in naming Luke). I’m not telling anyone though. Not yet. Maybe soon. We’ll see. I have a really nice story to go along with it so I think I’ll wait until I tell Mike the story and then write it up all nice to put on the blog. It will be sweet, I promise. You may even cry.

I had the most amazing weekend. I was honored to be with my sister and her husband for her labor and delivery of her third baby, a baby girl named Peyten Michelle. I don’t even really know where to start so I’ll just start with the sequence of events.

On Thursday afternoon Kari started having regular contractions. I didn’t find out until 5:50 pm that she had been having contractions, but I was not surprised to get the call because earlier that day – shortly after 4 pm – I felt a contraction of my own. It was so strong I had to stand up from my desk at work and walk around. It wasn’t your typical Braxton-Hicks contraction because it lasted for about 10 minutes. I knew exactly what it was when it came and I thought to myself at that time, “I wonder if Kari is going into labor soon.” It gave me goosebumps when Kari told me that her contractions had started at 4:16 pm.

I joined Kari and her husband, Mark, at the hospital that night. We all expected that she would be having the baby by the next day. What followed was a long drawn out early labor with little progress. Friday morning the hospital gave her the option to either have her water broken and take pitocin, or to leave altogether and do some walking to try and kick up the contractions. Since Kari’s goal was for a natural childbirth, she chose the discharge. So we spent the entire day (her birthday as it was!) shopping, walking around the park, and eating spicy foods. When we returned that night to the hospital she had still not made any progress but she decided to stay with the understanding that if she didn’t have more progress by the morning they would break her water.

Saturday night brought no progress and in fact her contractions had almost stalled completely. They broke her water at 9 am and within two hours she was contracting and moving along nicely. In five short hours from the water breaking she dilated from a 4 to an 8 and she was ready to get into a birthing tub and start pushing. Less than 30 minutes later, Peyten had arrived!

That’s the quick description, but I would also like to share some of my thoughts and reflections on the whole experience.

First off, I was especially grateful to be there given that my own labor and delivery is coming up in just three months. My delivery with Luke was anything but ideal, and I am very committed to learning everything I can about childbirth in hopes that I can feel more in control this time around. You can only learn so much from reading books and hearing about other women’s experiences. I know that now. Peyten’s labor and delivery is an experience that I will certainly draw from when it’s my turn.

I’ve been saying I want a natural childbirth. No pain medication or pitocin to “move things along”. I want to let my body do the work and I don’t want to be hooked up to IVs or monitors. I saw firsthand with Kari how helpful it is to be able to move about freely. She was able to bend and walk and sit on the birthing ball. It seemed to help her tremendously with coping with the contractions. I must tell you that my sister is the strongest woman I know. I said this after seeing her labor for her first daughter’s birth and I’ll say it again: She makes childbirth look easy. Well, maybe not easy, but she handles it in such a way that it inspires me to believe that I can do it too. She remains so calm and consistent throughout it all (except for the end of course, when you just want to get that blasted baby OUT).

The highlight was of course the actual birth. They had originally planned to have me step out for the delivery, but they decided at the last minute to deliver in the birthing tub. That meant that Mark would be in the tub with Kari, so they asked me to stay to take pictures. I have never witnessed anything so spectacular, and I won’t even try to put together words to give it justice. It was simply beautiful.

*Kari, thank you so much for letting me share that moment with you and Mark. I felt like an intruder at first, but quickly got over that feeling. I’m just glad you have pictures of such a momentous occasion – the actual birth and those wonderful seconds after when you were able to hold your baby girl.*

That’s right, folks. We had an ultrasound today and found out we’re having a girl! So now I can stop calling it “it” and we can start mulling over possible names.

In addition to that exciting news, Mike got to feel the baby, I mean her, squirming and worming around for the first time today. She certainly is a mover and shaker!

I have a couple big tasks to complete at my house that can only be done on a weekend. I look at the calendar and realize there are only like 4 weekends per month, can you believe that? And with all the fun I wanna have with friends and family and such, I feel like I have to be very strategic in my planning.

Big task #1 is getting Luke potty trained. He’s just over 2 years old now and he seems ready and willing. It would be fantastic to have him out of diapers before baby #2 (currently dubbed “Squirmy”) comes along. He goes on the potty occasionally but we are going to try the all in one shot approach. The one where you let him run around the house in big boy pants until he gets sick of wetting himself. (I just love putting “big boy” in front of everything. He sleeps in a big boy bed, he wears big boy shoes and big boy hats. He’s a big boy now!) A weekend would be best so Mike and I can team up for the whole messy process.

Big task #2 is clearing out all the crap in our office so we can turn it into a genuine bedroom for Squirmy (admit it, it’s catchy). Most of it is my crap so that’s my job and definitely a weekend project. Cuz dang, I have amassed a lot of crap in that room. Most of it has a place, but not a purpose. It can’t hang in that room anymore and there is nowhere else for it go, so it’s gotta GO. Mostly books. Lots and lots of books. That I will never read a second time. In fact, I haven’t even finished reading many of them the first time.

I know that Independence Day is coming up and that means I get an extra day off from work. A three day weekend would be perfect for one of these projects. I just have to decide which one. I’m leaning towards task #2 because I think that will be more physically draining for me and I’ll need to take lots of breaks. This baby has got my muscles so out of whack that normal things like wiping my bum or sneezing are very risky. I could pull a muscle at any moment.

We’re thinking of tackling the potty training the weekend of Father’s Day. Mike says that would be one of the greatest Father’s Day gifts; to not have to change diapers for awhile! Not your typical Father’s Day request, but he is a stay-at-home dad, so it’s fitting.