I have been reading “Buy, Buy Baby: How Consumer Culture Manipulates Parents and Harms Young Minds” by Susan Gregory Thomas and it is fascinating. In the book, the author mentions an 1899 meeting of the National Congress of Mothers, a meeting that marked the start of “professionalizing” the art of childrearing. What followed was a big shift from the days when mothers sought advice and guidance from their mothers and grandmothers as new emphasis was placed on the knowledge and expertise of doctors and other professionals. This intrigued me so of course I had to Google it. I found a wad of information, including several archived articles from the New York Times. Here is one I found particularly amusing: 

It’s funny, mothers now have more instruction and understanding on childrearing than we know what to do with, yet this nation seems far from a state of perfection. Things have changed a lot since 1912 but in a way it seems like we are dealing with the same issues they were.

By the way, the National Congress of Mothers was later renamed the National Congress of Parents and Teachers in 1924 but is better known today as the PTA. You can find a complete history at the PTA website.

I’m reading a book called “Blink - The Power of Thinking Without Thinking” Very interesting. It pointed me to www.implicit.harvard.edu, where you can complete a short exercise to see how you really feel about things. I took the ”Young - Old” IAT and discovered this about myself:

You have completed the Young - Old IAT.

Your Result

Your data suggest little to no automatic preference between Old and Young.

Thank you for your participation. Just below is a breakdown of the scores generated by others. Most respondents, even the elderly, find it easier to associate Old people with Bad and Young people with Good compared to the reverse.

Many of the questions that you answered on the previous page have been addressed in research over the last 10 years. For example, the order that you performed the response pairing is influential, but procedural corrections largely eliminate that influence (see FAQ #1). Each visitor to the site completes the task in a randomized order. If you would like to learn more about the IAT, please visit the FAQs and background information section.

You are welcome to try additional demonstration tasks, and we encourage you to register (easy) for the research site where you will gain access to studies about more than 100 topics about social groups, personality, pop culture, and more.

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” ~Steven Wright

I’m reading a book called “It’s All Too Much,” by Peter Walsh. I’m only on chapter two but I’m already learning a lot. It’s basically how-to on decluttering, but it deals with the psychology of why we have such a hard time getting rid of things, not just on the logistics of decluttering. I think it’s the same as with personal finance, only a fraction of it is head knowledge and the remainder is behavior.

Walsh lists the nine most common excuses for keeping something. The one I struggle with the most is this: “It’s too important to let go.” Walsh tells a story about a woman who was holding onto lots of sentimental items. I’ll quote the portion that really struck me -

“I found that the root of the problem was uncovered with one simple question. I asked Sarah if her best memories with her children were in front of her or behind her. Her eyes welled up with tears; here was a woman afraid that the best times had already passed. She was holding on for dear life to those things that evoked the great memories she had had with her children. The only way to find out what the present holds is to actually live it; clinging desperately to the past seriously endangers your enjoyment of the present. If you let your sentiment overrun your house, you’re inhibiting your family’s ability to have a life worth preserving. Ironic, isn’t it?

“If something is important, give it a place of importance. Find a way to respect and display that memory. If you’re not treating it with honor and respect and you can’t find a way to do so, then get rid of it.”

Boy, I already have a mental tally of all the things that I have made that excuse about. Yet they are all packed away in boxes. If they are really that important to me, why do I keep them tucked away? I think it’s time to go back through those boxes and make some tough decisions.

Book review of “The Consumer Trap: Big Business Marketing in American Life”

Oh, I really want to read this book. I am constantly annoyed at the sly ways companies market to us - most of the time we buy right into it without knowing it.

For example - remember the tv campaign they ran last year to warn us women about HPV, human papillomavirus? These PSAs kindly made us aware of this dangerous virus that could cause cancer. They weren’t selling anything… or were they? As Kari pointed out to me, they were totally setting us up. Now they have this whole “Be One Less” campaign with commercials trying to sell us the vaccine. First they create the problem in our minds and get us scared, then they offer the solution. How nice.

This article dated 11/14/06 tells all about it: Merck To Women: ‘Get Vaccinated,’ Be ‘One Less’ Cancer Statistic.  Here are some excerpts:

MERCK & CO. LAUNCHED A national advertising campaign for its Gardasil vaccine yesterday that plays up a theme of female empowerment with a call to “Get Vaccinated.”

The ads, created by DDB New York, portray strong and confident everyday female athletes and mothers and their daughters discussing Gardasil as the vaccine that can help protect you from the four types of viruses that cause 70 percent of cervical cancers.

 That was the part two of the campaign, here is reference to part one:

Merck spent $27.4 million in the first six months of this year, reports TNS Media Intelligence, on paid media to advertise the HPV message through its campaign to “Tell Someone.” Critics of that campaign maintained it was the company’s way of advertising a drug that had yet to receive FDA approval.

 And here’s an interesting tidbit for us living in the Great Lakes State:

Last week, Michigan became the first state to introduce an initiative that would require the vaccine for all sixth-grade girls as a requirement to attend school.

That’s just sneaky stuff. The scary thing is that it is everywhere, all the time. And we just suck it all in. Ew. I’m so disgusted. I’m seriously considering becoming Amish. How else would I be able to get away from all the stupid advertising?

Rhapsody: R.E.M. - “Sitting Still”
Mood: Breathing

Perfect song for the moment. It’s after 5 and I finally get to sit still and take a moment to rest. What a hectic day. I complain, but secretly I love being needed by this crazy bunch at the office. It should slow down soon.

I started reading a book for “fun”, as opposed to all those philosophy books I like to read. It’s still a nonfiction though. I’m not big on fantasy and make-believe. It’s a fairly thorough book about R.E.M. I’ve been hooked on them for 15 years now and they still hold my “number one favorite” ranking. The stuff I’m learning in this book is only solidifying that ranking. It’s fascinating stuff for an R.E.M. fan like me. I bought the book six years ago in the U.K. via mail order. This was back when I was using my credit card for “necessary” purchases and I just had to have this book. It sat on a shelf most of those years. I guess I was just waiting to pay off that credit card. How terrible is that? “Hey everybody, this book is paid for!”

XM: The Ellen Show
Mood: Okay

Today’s health score: Fibromyalgia-1, Mindy-0. Extra tired, achy, and cranky. Not a great combo for the people who have to work with me all day. I think after work I’ll go for a walk and then take it easy for the rest of the night.

The search for a receptionist went well and we should have one here in the office by next week! I am very excited about this as I am completely overwhelmed with tasks here at work.

Mike was interviewing for a great job but didn’t get it. All of you who knew about it may have assumed that by now, since you hadn’t heard from me. It wasn’t really news I was in a hurry to share. We are bummed but he still has a great job (even if the hours suck). We are grateful for that.

I’ve been tracking the stats of my blog on statcounter.com and it’s interesting what search terms bring people here:
countdown to spiderman 3; purseket television; paystub creator; $300 worth of coins; staci jenna; beals institute, lansing, michigan; introvert leader speaker; hate mindy; (who knows what they were looking for..); clear care where; clear care availability; storybook love xm; Living in Reno; cutting her hair; children of divorce; patch eye.

I can also see the ISPs of who is visiting and where they are from. There’s someone in New Jersey that keeps visiting and I’m curious who it is.

I’m reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. This seems to be the best time in my life to read this book. I have meant to read it for years but never seemed to get around to it. I’m glad I waited. I’m only a few chapters into it but so far I’m enjoying reading about shifting paradigms and the importance of the journey and all of that. As I read I feel the pressure of the advocacy center lifting from my shoulders and I am reassured that it’s okay to take my time and be patient with the process. A dream or aspiration should always be seen as a positive thing and never a burden.

I’m reading The Princess Bride again. Yes, it’s a book and a movie. It was a book first in 1973, then William Goldman wrote the screenplay which was eventually made into the movie in 1987. If you enjoyed the movie, read the book. You’ll love it. But I must warn you that William Goldman is a big fat liar. In the intro to the book Goldman states that S. Morgenstern wrote the book and he just abridged it by keeping “the good parts.” Kari discovered the truth the hard way after scouring several bookstores in the Portland, Oregon area and then shared the news with me after I was half-way through the book. The truth is, there is no unabridged version, and there is no S. Morgenstern. We both felt a bit violated, betrayed. But I must admit it’s a very clever joke, and I can almost laugh at it now. Despite the lies, I find myself wanting to read the book because it’s such a great story. It does makes me curious about this Goldman fellow, so I googled him.

“Simon Morgenstern is a pseudonym, a narrative device invented by him to add another layer to The Princess Bride. Goldman claims S. Morgenstern is the original Florinese author of The Princess Bride and credits himself merely as an abridger who is bringing the classic to an American audience. Goldman also wrote The Silent Gondoliers under Morgenstern’s name.”

I’d like to check out that book, The Silent Gondoliers. Read the rest of the article, namely the list of screenplays he has written. I found it interesting.

I’ve been reading a great book called “Addiction & Grace,” by Gerald May. I’m only half way through it, but in this book Mr. May attempts to prove that we all are addicted to one thing or another. We all develop attachments to things, people, ideas, etc. and often those attachments become so strong they turn into addictions. Even though they may be bad for us, our minds and bodies have adapted so much that those things, people, ideas, etc. become “normal” to us. This is why we experience stress when we try to withdraw from those things, people, ideas, etc. We all have addictions whether we know it or not.

Last night I found myself on the couch doing nothing. No tv, no music, no phone. I wasn’t even creating new to-do lists in my head (a wonderful habit of mine). After a few minutes of this I started to feel very uneasy. Uneasiness and a sort of guilt at the thought that I should be doing something right now. “What should I be doing? There must be something I should be doing. It’s wrong that I am just sitting here doing nothing.” And if I had continued down this thought process I would have eventually convinced myself that I am a lazy, horrible person. That’s how it usually goes. But last night God didn’t let that happen. He did not let the lies enter into my thoughts. He wants me to rest. He does not expect me to be busy during every waking moment. IT’S OKAY.

Am I addicted to busy-ness? Have I been busy for so long that my body has adapted to make “busy” feel normal and right? When I am not busy my body rejects the change, as if something is wrong, and I just need to go find an activity to feel right again. TV, crochet, knitting, cross-stitch, reading, making TO-DO lists, anything will do. But I can’t just sit there. Oy vey.

Quoting a quote from the book I’m reading (See July 9th entry, “Bug can read”):

“A lot of times we are looking for a sign that tells us we’re godly. We want to preach, or be a missionary or whatever, all to help ourselves believe that God is using us. We look everywhere but to God to make us feel godly. We try to convince others we are godly so that we can convince ourselves we are godly. The bottom line is that godliness is about relationship, not about image. I guess what I am saying is that we shouldn’t worry about where God is taking us or what God is doing through us. Instead, we should be asking ourselves ‘Who is God?’ Instead of asking what it feels like to follow God or be used by God, we should be asking who God is, and whether we really know Him. Everything else will take care of itself.”

This whole feeling I’ve been having of needing a purpose or whatever… maybe I’m barking up the wrong tree. Maybe this guy in the book is right. Maybe I’m focusing too much on looking or feeling godly, and should just be focusing on knowing God. Hmmm… an awful lot to consider on a Monday.

So I’m not much of a reader (it’s all those letters and words that confuse me so…) but Rachel lent me a wonderful book. She said I would like it and boy, is she right. “Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance” by Donald Miller. See, you can tell just by the title that I would dig it. It’s about two guys who decide to take a road trip from Texas to Oregon with one goal in mind - to get there before they run out of money. But for the author, Don, it is also somewhat about finding the God he grew up learning about. He’s got all the knowledge but still feels like something is missing. He’s just an average guy, 21 years young, writing about his take on things. And I relate big time. He makes several great observations about Christians and the church nowadays and it is comforting to know that I am not the only one feeling the frustration. I’ll spare you the details of those frustrations for now. Anyway, it’s a great book. I may read it twice before giving it back.

In other news, I have been feeling a lot lately like I need a bigger purpose in life. This may or may not be related to the waxing and waning desire to be a mother. I just feel like I have become too content to go through the motions. Am I making any kind of positive impact on the people around me? Am I being the [wife, friend, daughter, sister] that I should be? Every time I ask myself this question and start feeling guilty about it I remember my dear stepmom’s advice: “Don’t should on yourself.” I always thought it sounded funny back then, but I think she was on to something. Christ conquered death so that we wouldn’t have to walk through life wallowing in guilt. We can learn from our failures and move on. We are God’s WIP: Works in Progress. That’s hard for me to accept because I seem to expect perfection from myself, although I doubt that’s what God expects from me. In fact, I know that’s not what he expects. I think he just wants honesty and humility and for me to give him more of my attention.

Speaking of that, I realize that I have a habit to forget about my relationships. However it happens, I don’t know. Time just seems to pass and I continue in my routine until I realize I have not taken any action to cultivate those relationships. It is the same with God as it is with my family and friends. I have spoken to people who do not have this problem. If they don’t see their friends often enough, they start to miss them. They remember the good times they’ve shared and they long for more of that. Where does that come from? Why don’t I have that longing? It’s not that I don’t sincerely love my friends and family. I do. And when I do see them again, I remember that I love spending time with them and ask myself how I could possibly forget that and I kick myself for not spending more time with them. But then I go home and back into the vicious cycle I go. I would love to just fix this, but I don’t even know where to start. Does anyone have any answers?