This joke was written by Alaina, age 5:

Why did the elephant cross the road?

He had to fart.

Why did the giraffe cross the road?

To get away from the elephant!

I love it! (This is me starting to follow my own tagline about not taking life too seriously.)

If only I could do this every morning. I may have to wait until retirement.

The best part of this SNL skit is that Amy Poehler is seriously pregnant. And rapping. Awesome.

Funny stuff. I’m pretty sure I saw a Call of Duty clip up on the projector screen. “A huge error! Enormous!”

Okay, not really. I stole it from Rocketboom but it might as well be Mike’s…

Thanks go out to Noel for introducing me to Improv Everywhere. These people are stinking hilarious. This video shows 70 people walking around the mall talking on their “banana phones.” Even better, the background music is courtesy of my favorite children’s artist: Raffi. 

They sell BananaPhones down at The Daily Bagel (bey-gul) for $0.85. What a deal! I’m totally getting one.

Yes, my favorite pair of black dressy pants, my only pair of black dressy pants, have reached the end of their useful life. The zipper will not stay up, and I spend all day reaching down to check where it’s at. It’s quite inconvenient when I’m around other people. It’s hard to discreetly reach down and zip up your pants. They are bound to look at you and chuckle because of course they think you just came from the bathroom and forgot that last step (Actually, the last step is washing your hands. Can’t forget cleanliness.).

Oh, speaking of cleanliness in the bathroom. Mike and I were chatting awhile back, as we do on occasion, and he had the brilliant idea that they should make baby wet wipes, but for adults, and you could flush them. I informed him that they already do, and they are available to the public for a small fee. A few days ago he came out of the bathroom and said this to me:

Remember when we talked about how it would be cool if they made flushable wet wipes? Well I noticed the package of wipes on the back of the toilet…

The package of wipes he was referring to reads “Just wipe clean and flush!” However, it also reads (in large print so it shall not be missed) ”Toilet Cleaning Wipes.” That, unfortunately, was the part he did not read. OUCH.

From a January 2008 podcast of “A Prairie Home Companion’s News from Lake Wobegon”:

I had a boy under the old system of parenthood, back before most of you were born. This under the old system, where men were out busy hunting and fighting heathen savages and we were just brought into villages for breeding purposes then we wandered off again and we’d come back to see the child after the child was born. We’d walk in smeared with blood and one ear half chewed off wrapped in animal skins and we’d walk in and look at the child and we’d grunt and then we’d go off and hunt and fight some more and eventually the child sort of grew up on his own and you came  back and here was this young man there.

And now to have a child under the new system of parenthood, in which parents are assumed to be vitally involved in every step of their child’s life and arrange their children’s social life and read every book available on the subject of childrearing, which is like having a second unpaid job.

Makes me nostalgic for the old way that I grew up under. (more…)

When you’ve been married almost 9 years the awkward moments become few and far between, but I had one this morning.

I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. The shower was running and my clothes were already off when I noticed the toilet wasn’t flushing properly. Being the superior plunger I am (thanks to my brother, believe it or not) I jumped at the chance to plunge. Apparently my husband heard all the noise I was making and came into the bathroom to check on me (I am just getting over the stomach flu), only to find me standing over the toilet, naked, with a plunger in my hand. Sexy. We might have to rethink our open door policy.