Again, with the misplaced mojo. I just don’t know where to look, nor do I have the time. I’ve been studying like crazy for this damned IRS exam. I’ve passed two out of three and will be taking the third on Thursday. Third on Thursday. If I fail I will have to do more studying and take it again, and someone better hide the guns because I do not believe I will handle failure well. I am so sick of studying and I am ready to move on already. I’m ready to send in that application and add those silly letters to my name. Melinda Richmond, E.A. I need to pass this test.

And then? Then we’ll see. I’m not sure where to go from there but it will just feel nice to have accomplished a goal I set for myself oh, I don’t know, over a year ago?

And while accomplishing goals is always a good thing, you know what I am ready to do? Rest for awhile. I’ve just been so tired. So. Tired. Rest would be good. And I don’t want really want one big rest every once in awhile. I want it sprinkled all over. A little rest here, a little rest there. That would be nice.

Psalm 127:1-2 “Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.”

Mike got a part-time job. I am convincing myself that it’s really not so bad. I mean, we need the money so it was going to have to happen sooner or later, but I was really enjoying his unemployment. He took care of everything around the house, and all I had to concern myself with was my 9-5. I could come home from a hard day of work and just rest and enjoy my family. Now I’m having to pick up the slack; taking out the trash, folding laundry, doing the dishes. You know, like normal people do. So I’m having to learn how to keep enjoying my family in the midst of taking care of new responsibilities. I know. Boo. Flippin. Hoo. Right? I don’t expect any sympathy because I know it’s just me being a selfish whiner and I will get over it.

The job is kind of perfect for him and I don’t know why he didn’t think of it sooner. He’s driving for a limo company in town. He has had a chauffeur’s license for at least a decade, so he already had that covered. He loves to drive, he gets along very well with people, and he’s not scary to look at (I would think that was important if I was ever privileged enough to ride in a rented limo). The jobs have been coming in pretty regularly being that it’s prom season and the pay is pretty decent. We’re not sure how long the work will be this steady so he is trying to rake in as much money as he can while he can. We’ll use what we need and save the rest, kind of like we had been doing with the unemployment benefits.

I think he should get one of those cool chauffeur’s hats, don’t you?

I have a big test tomorrow. I don’t feel ready. I am so nervous because I didn’t give myself sufficient time to study and I am so afraid that I’m going to fail and then I have to show up at work and admit to everyone that I am not as smart as I think I am. Or as they think I am. They all seem to think I’ll do fine, but I don’t know. The test is part 1 of the EA exam. That’s EA, short for Enrolled Agent, someone who can represent taxpayers before the IRS. I’ve already passed part 3 but that was the easy one. This one should be a bit harder. Part 2 will be the hardest for me as it’s a subject I have the least practical experience in. Much more studying will be required. But for now I really just want to get this test over with. I’ll know right away if I pass or not. If I pass I will be ecstatic. If I don’t, I may just think about finishing off that six-pack in the fridge. Let’s hope for passing.

All that’s been on my mind lately is this damn test but there are many other things going on around me. I just need to get past tomorrow morning and then I’ll be able to breathe a huge sigh of relief (unless I fail of course) and then I can focus on blogging about everything else. I’ve been a real slacker lately. Don’t you just hate it when people blog about how they don’t blog enough? Yeah, I hate that too. I could write for days about my lack of blogging. In fact I might do that. Starting tomorrow, of course.

It’s been a whirlwind of a weekend and I’m still processing. Mom flew in on Saturday, we walked for MS on Sunday and spent time with a lot of family and friends, then Mom flew back tonight. Crazy good stuff. So much to share but I want to do it right. It’s just not going to happen tonight. My bed beckons.

We recently added a new family member, and he sleeps in the basement. A treadmill! Mike got a great deal on it and he has been working diligently on decluttering and organizing his workspace down there so walking on it is actually a pretty pleasant experience. My plan is to get up around 5:30 am (at least on weekdays) and walk for 20 minutes or so. Walk, shower, dress, and then off to work I go! It’s only been a few days but I would really like to stay motivated and stick with it.

I’m trying to stick with lots of new routines lately. Brushing my teeth twice a day, washing my face, packing my lunch and laying my clothes out at night for the next day of work, grocery shopping on a weekly basis, cooking meals for my family. It sounds like a lot when I list it out but they are all things that when done, make me feel a lot more peaceful throughout the day. If I wake up late (like today) I don’t have to rush around trying to figure out what to wear or what to bring to eat for lunch.

This morning is interesting to note. I went to bed at 11 pm after completing the whole night routine and preparing the crock pot for tomorrow’s dinner. I had fully intended on getting up early as I had done the morning before. The only problem was that the morning before I actually got up before my alarm went off, so I turned it off so as not to wake up the hubby at 5:30 am. Last night it didn’t occur to me to turn it back on. You could call it one of those subsconscious but intentional mistakes, but I think it was God letting me forget because he knew I would need the rest. Poor Natalie had her immunization shots yesterday and they must have some weird effect on her energy because she was up – wide awake – at 3 am. Mike tried desperately to get her to sleep. He fed her, changed her, wrapped her up, did all he could but an hour later she still wasn’t having it. So I got up with her and did my magic. I just held her tight for awhile, standing and rocking until she eventually fell fast asleep. When I crawled back into bed I was still expecting to get up with the alarm at 5:30 so when I happened to open my eyes at 6:15, I can’t say I was too disappointed. I would have liked to get the workout in but I know I needed the sleep.

I like how God works his hands in even the little things.

I have a few things I’m itchin’ to blog about, but right now I’m holding a sleepy baby so I’ll just give you a list of what you can look forward to reading when I finally get around to writing it! Ha!

1) I learned a lot about World War II last week thanks to the History channel. Left me with a lot of food for thought.

2) I read a book! All the way through! It was a fantastic book, an autobiography by Teri Garr, an amazing funny woman who helps people laugh at MS. After reading the book, I totally have to meet her.

3) We went to a wedding in Chicago last night. With a two week old newborn. Crazy, maybe, but it went great and she stole the show for sure.

4) Thanksgiving is coming! Hooray! Again, we’ll be hosting dinner and that means we don’t have to travel and we get to keep lots of leftovers

It’s very chilly outside this morning. The kind of chill that reaches the marrow of your bones and makes you just want to curl up in the recliner with a couple layers of blankets and some warm fuzzy socks. But instead you’re at work, because that’s what responsible adults do. They don’t call in “sick” when they would rather stay at home knowing full well they are capable of working. But it’s oh so tempting. Honestly.

However, I do love a chilly morning. Something about the fresh scent of the air and the chirping of the birds reminds me of the abbey I used to visit (monks get up very early). I actually haven’t used an alarm clock in over a week. I’ve been waking up from anywhere between 5:30 and 6:30 and just lying there, listening to the birds. I’ll doze in and out of consciousness for awhile and then get up and google a morning devotion on my laptop before getting ready for work. It’s actually been a nice change, not waking up to that ugly alarm clock. Nothing makes me want to go back to bed more than that awful noise.

Today I am feeling a desperate need to put some new routines in place. At this point the only routine in my life is going to work every day. I’m not even going to the gym during my lunch breaks anymore. I don’t know at what point I actually gave up all my routines. I guess it was more of a gradual thing. But now I am waking up from my first trimester slumber (and I’m eating again, which is fantastic) and I am finding myself lost without my routines. I don’t feel as if I am accomplishing much nowadays. Mike has taken over more of the day-to-day stuff at the house like cooking and cleaning, so I don’t even do that anymore.  Aside from bringing home the bacon and makin’ this baby in my belly, I’m not doing much else.

I do want to start going back to the gym, but I’m still getting sick occasionally and I’m finding it necessary to carefully ration my energy levels. What would really be more important to me right now – and maybe this is just a nesting feeling kicking in early – is to start making a habit of doing more deep housecleaning on a regular basis. Stuff we’ve never cared about keeping up with, like washing the linens, dusting the cobwebs, mopping the floors. Don’t get me wrong, it gets done eventually, it just doesn’t get done as often as perhaps it should. And since we’re going to have a fourth person breathing air in our house soon, maybe I need to start making stuff like that more of a priority. If I can take this time now to make it a habit, then hopefully I won’t get stuck doing too many of those Saturday blitzes to clean the entire house at once. I hate those.

I googled “how to keep a clean house” and other such stupid requests, but after 3 minutes of reading I realized that I have all the knowledge. Cleaning is not rocket science. I just need to get some routines in place. I need to have a plan. Any suggestions on how or where I should start? Or maybe just some good old fashioned encouragement?

I mentioned Mike was out of town this weekend. I miss him terribly, but there are a few upsides to having the house to myself.

• I don’t expect him to help with Luke so there’s no resentment and head-butting. Instead of doing what I usually do (making excuses to be a lazy bum), I just do what I gotta do. And let me tell you, with that nasty stomach bug Luke caught, there was a lot of Doing What I Gotta Do.
• I can cook whatever I want and I don’t have to concern myself with whether he’ll like it or not. He’s not really a picky eater, he just doesn’t “care for” a lot of the things I love to eat. Tonight we ate chicken breast with veggies, and the chicken was still on the bone (gasp!). I had never made it before and had no idea how easy it was. I marinated it in Italian dressing overnight, put it in the crock pot this morning on low, and it was ready by dinner time. Really there is no reason to keep buying boneless skinless chicken breast. Not at those prices. Wow.
• I can leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight and he’s not here to complain about it. Though as it turns out I have really grown accustomed to waking up to a clean kitchen, so I have been taking care of the dishes. He would be so proud.

And finally,

• I do enjoy a quiet house. No Call of Duty rumbling coming from the basement. Very nice.

Sometimes I set small goals for myself in an attempt to become a more responsible adult. This week I have set a few new goals.

I pledge to:

• Brush my teeth at night, before I go to bed. I generally only brush in the morning. I am currently in need of seven fillings, so it’s about time I start taking better care of my teeth.

• Wash my face twice a day, especially at night. Up until now I’ve only been washing my face in the shower. I get annoying break outs. I think those two things may be related. Maybe my face will clear up if I stop sleeping with make-up still on my face.

• Clean the cat litter at least every other day. It’s really not that hard, and it doesn’t take nearly as long as I think. I think I timed it once and it took less than 3 minutes.

I would say that’s a good start. And these are the kind of things that once you do them for awhile, they become second nature. After awhile I won’t have to remind myself to brush my teeth at night, or wash the crap off my face. Just like I don’t have to remind myself to wash my hands after I go to the bathroom, or put my glasses on before I leave the house (okay, sometimes I still need a reminder for that).

Now that I’m thinking about it, there are some things that should come naturally but if I’m REALLY tired I’ll forget. I’ve put conditioner in my hair a few times and forgotten to rinse it out before I got out of the shower. One time I actually tried to wash my hair with conditioner. And then I conditioned it again.

But not all my blunders are in the shower – I drove to work once a few years ago… in my slippers. I did actually drive to work without my glasses on once (or twice). I’m nearsighted but my eyes aren’t that bad so I don’t need glasses to walk around the house but driving is a bit more challenging without them. It’s possible but not advisable.

They say old habits die hard but sometimes they do take naps