Luke went to bed at 7 pm tonight. That’s crazy early, so now I don’t know what to do with myself. Well, that’s not true. I know exactly what to do with myself. I could get my butt up and fold some laundry, or scoop the cat litter, or get my clothes and lunch ready for work tomorrow. Instead I’m sitting here in bed with my laptop and my new wireless mouse, sipping on a lager. Just waiting around for the new episode of Intervention to come on at 9 pm. And no, you don’t have to point out the irony of me watching a show about addiction while drinking a beer. Seriously, I have like one beer a month. So me thinks it’s not a problem.

I can’t wait until fall. And winter! And the holidays! I think this is my favorite time of year. I hate sweating. I love sweaters. I love my long-sleeved Rocky thermal shirt (I’m wearing it now, of course). I love the chili and soup and hot chocolate. I just… oh I’m just glad summer is coming to a close. I am rejuvenated.

This is gonna be a good week, I can feel it.

I’m up way too late and I’m watching a show about medical mysteries while playing stupid video games. An illness called Hunter syndrome was being described on the show and I overheard a familiar word: mucopolysaccharides. It’s one of those words you hear all the time, right? In fact, the only reason it’s a familiar term is because it’s an ingredient in the Scruples brand shampoo we used to use in our household when I was in high school, and sometimes the shampoo bottle is the only reading material you have available when you’re stuck on the can.

Apparently mucopolysaccharides is not just a shampoo ingredient but is a natural substance found in the human body. I had never heard the word anywhere else and I am glad to discover that I’ve been pronouncing it correctly all these years (seriously, it comes up in conversation all the time).

I just came back from a party with friends and as it turns out, almost half the girls there read my blog, only they don’t ever comment. I have lots of lurkers. That’s okay though, I lurk on most the blogs I read. Since I’m not a big commenter, I don’t expect others to either.

But that’s not what this post is about. I made an announcement to the ladies tonight and several of them felt it was worth blogging about. So here goes:

I bought those Hanes No Ride-Up Panties, and I have been wedgie-free ALL DAY. Ladies, you’ve got to try these panties. It’s like some kind of fabric miracle. I don’t know how the Hanes people did it, but they actually came through on their promise. Seriously, it’s awesome.

I am already bored listening to these campaign speeches. All I hear is “Blah, blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah.” I read once in a book that Abe Lincoln gave some pretty rockin’ campaign speeches. Back then they talked about real stuff. They went into great detail on their views and philosophies and strategies for running the country. Now they just throw out a bunch of one-liners and wait for the crowd to cheer. It’s disgusting. We have reduced the hiring of the leader of our country to a stinkin’ popularity contest.

Ick. I am not ready for this presidential campaign.

It’s all that powdery stuff they have to rub their hands in before getting on the uneven bars. Ew. It looks worse than flour. Flour, sand, powdered sugar, can’t stand any of it. Drives be bonkers. Like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Nope. Couldn’t do it. Not a chance.

FINALLY, I was properly introduced to this thing called Webkinz. Momteacherfriend’s kids came over tonight and showed it to me. They are way into this thing. I guess you have to have one of these Webkinz stuffed animals in order to be able to even log in, so they were nice enough to let me play under their usernames. I played some games and earned them some money. It was super fun. I think I’m addicted. Now I just need to get my own Webkinz.

Oh, also I memorized the theme song to SpongeBob Squarepants. I can now check that off my list of goals to accomplish. Here, let me sing it to you:

Oooooooooooooh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob Squarepants!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
SpongeBob Squarepants!
If nautical nonsense be something you wish,
SpongeBob Squarepants!
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!

Call me crazy, but I think SpongeBob is kinda cute. I think for my next birthday I want a SpongeBob cake. And instead of the birthday song we could sing the theme song. Yes, I think I’m onto something here!

We have been watching a lot of baseball lately. Specifically, the Tigers. I was up way too late last night watching them ruin a perfectly good lead, give up a home run to tie the game, score two runs (Polanco hit two homers in ONE game) in the 14th inning. And they still managed to lose the game. Fourteen innings, people. I didn’t go to bed until after 1 am. I am starting to care way too much about this game. I mean, I find myself sitting down next to Mike to watch the game with him (gotta compromise to get that quality time in), and then when he falls asleep shortly after I sit down, I keep watching the game. Because I CARE. Oh well, Mike is happy about that. It only took 10 years to get me interested.

I told Mike the other day that it was going to rain. I hadn’t checked the weather. I just knew. Sure enough, it rained the next morning. Wanna know how I knew? No, I’m not part bovine as Mike suggested (just kidding). Apparently cows know when it’s gonna rain too. It’s the osteoarthritis I have in my knees. I’ve had it for years but didn’t know that’s what it was. Just thought it was normal to have pain in the knees. Well lately they’ve been hurting a lot. Of course it only rained that once, so my forecasting skills aren’t ready for the 6:00 news or anything. Not sure why they are hurting, but I’m sure if I get back into exercising (that’s funny, as if I was ever “into” exercising) then they wouldn’t hurt as much over time. It’s worth a shot.

Luke has two teeth. Total. Two teeth. Fourteen months old. Of course we’ve started brushing them. I hadn’t really made it a priority (you know, cuz there are TWO) but then I noticed he was starting to get really bad breath. Gross, I know. But he brushes twice a day now so the odor is under control. And he loves to brush his teeth. That’s more than I can say for his momma.

I have great friends. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. Not just great friends, Fabulous Friends. I can’t even say how fabulous. I just don’t know the words. Let’s consult the thesaurus. How about astonishing, astounding, fantastic, fantastical, incredible, marvelous, miraculous, phenomenal, prodigious, stupendous, unbelievable, wonderful, wondrous? So remarkable as to elicit disbelief. Seriously. I do not deserve such love. Friends, you know who you are.

What can I say? Life is full, full indeed. I hope you are all well. If you are not, I hope you can muster a smile. If a smile doesn’t work for you, try bustin’ a move when no one is looking. Then I dare you not to smile

When using a papercutter, I find it helpful to dip with the knees when you bring down the blade. Just try it, I think you’ll find it a rather whimsical experience, sure to bring a smile to your face.

Happy Pi Approximation Day, everyone! It’s the 22nd of July, or 22/7, which equals 3.14, which as we ALL know, is Pi. I hope you went out and celebrated the wonderfulness of Pi. I hope all your purchases cost $3.14 (Unless it was for coffee, which is just an outrageous price to pay for coffee. Of course.)

Keep your calendars marked for the next geeky holiday.the only one really worth remembering because it’s my and my hubby’s birthday): 3/3/09 - Square Root Day!

Oh, and for a good laugh, check out the rest of the Geek Holidays at Wikipedia. No Pants Day could be fun. We could all frizz our hair out and walk around like troll dolls. Of course that’s probably only funny if you’ve heard Jimmy Fallon’s Seinfeld impression. “He doesn’t have any pants on! What’s the deal with that? NO pants! You get the doll. You don’t get the pants!”

Ok, never mind.

I am not one of those people that saves every empty margarine or yogurt container to reuse again and again. We have plenty of GladWare and Tupperware in our cupboards for our food storage needs. Mike, on the other hand, is one of those people. He sees no need to throw away a perfectly good plastic container. It irks me a bit. He knows this.

Monday night I asked him to package up the leftovers from dinner so I could take it to work with me and eat it for lunch the next day. Now keep in mind that Mike is a stay-at-home-dad now and he is in charge of the kitchen. So I was not surprised to open the fridge Tuesday morning and find my lunch packed lovingly into an old sherbet container. I really didn’t think much of it but I think Mike was chuckling to himself about it all day, because he asked me that night how I liked the container he chose for the leftovers. I think he pictured me sulking as I walked into the office, sheepishly carrying my ghettoware under my arm and hiding it in the back corner of the community refrigerator. At least he didn’t write my name on it with a permanent marker in big bold letters. “MINDY’S LUNCH.” Now, that would be ghetto.