Boy, I am just exhausted. I’ve been running myself ragged trying to stay caught up on everything now that I’m back to work. I’m deciding it’s just not worth it. I am stressed to the max and I’m no picnic to be around. These are the steps I need to be taking to lower my stress:

1. Ask for help, especially from Mike. He doesn’t know unless I tell him, and he’s more than willing.
2. Get my routines down on paper. That way I don’t have to remember everything and my brain won’t get overloaded.
3. Forget about the small stuff. Just do what’s necessary and the rest can wait until the weekend. 
4. Pump breastmilk twice a day at work instead of three. I need that lunch hour to relax – it’s the only guaranteed chance for down time that I have and I had better take it. It means Luke will have to get formula once or twice I day but it’s a small price to pay to have a sane Momma.

I think if I do those four things I’ll be feeling a lot better. I knew this was going to be a tough adjustment but we will get through it.

I am still loving my job! I’m learning quickly and it’s work that I really enjoy doing. The people are great so far. They are mostly accountants so with my personality I fit right in. I think this could be a great long term gig for me. Let’s hope.

I was able to fit into yet another piece of pre-pregnancy clothing today. Yay! The amazing shrinking woman!

Last Friday I was stressing and venting to my boss about our cash flow and some of the receivables I was trying to collect on. He interrupted me mid-sentence by grabbing my hand and started right in with a prayer that God would bless us with checks and that customers would pay and pay early even. I was taken aback, to be honest. I know my boss is a praying man, but he’s never really done anything like that before. Even though it was a tad awkward, it left me with a familiar sense of peace and I was able to get back to my work without that stress resting on my shoulders.

This afternoon I had to let my boss know that our little prayer request worked, because we received 9 checks in the mail today, and several of them were checks I didn’t expect to receive for at least another couple of weeks! So we are going to have to remember to say that prayer more often.

Why doesn’t it ever occur to me to petition God about work stuff? It’s strange really, because I pray to him about everything else in my life. I ask him for blessings in my personal life, why not in my professional life too? After all, my job directly affects my personal life. Wouldn’t I want to ask that the company I am working for be successful? I think I will more often now.

Don’t you remember? We built this city. We built this city on rock ‘n roll.

Oh, that song just put me in a silly mood. That mixed with the elation and relief at just finishing up the filing I was putting off all month and I am one happy girl.

I have been extremely focused and productive from 8 am – noon, but after that I start to slowly hit a wall. My brain slows and I get all off track. I’m left staring at the monitor with my head cocked slightly to the side. I usually come-to when the drooling starts, but even then it’s hard to get back into work mode. It’s been happening a lot lately, and I need to rearrange my priorities at work in order to coincide with my brain capabilities. Do the stuff that requires focus and concentration in the morning, save the more mindless tasks for the afternoon. It worked today so we’ll try it again tomorrow and see how it goes.

This and next week are short work-weeks for me so I need to be sure I’m getting all my work caught up. I don’t work Friday. I took the day off originally for Chrysalis, but that was cancelled so now it’s to clean my house in preparation for Thanksgiving. Having been confined to the couch and bed for the last several weeks, I haven’t done much around the house and it shows. If I reach my cleaning goals on Friday, Saturday will be devoted to grocery shopping. We’ll have a full house again for Thanksgiving, only with a slightly different mix of people. Of course I love all the food and eating, but what I’m really looking forward to is the family time. I’ve been blessed with such a great family, in-laws included!

Happy Wednesday, folks.

From Dan Miller’s 48 Days Newsletter:

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

“Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it’s just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups, and then began eyeing each other’s cups.

“Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.”

God brews the coffee, not the cups . . Enjoy your coffee.

Source Unknown ¯ forwarded by Susan Powers

Be aware that your life is much more than your job. If your job defines you and controls you, you’re very vulnerable to changing circumstances. Jobs will come and go, but that should never change who you are as a person. Make sure you are making deposits of success in your life apart from your job.

Sorry, Blog. We’ve been so busy at work I haven’t had any time to play I have not forgotten you. We will meet again soon.

XM: Bruce Springsteen – “Gypsy Woman”
Mood: whiny

Warning: this may be just one big pity post. I’m just tired. Tired as all get out. I had a great conversation with Michelle about striving. I strive to be better, to set goals and reach them, to make a difference in the world. I would like to stop this striving because it wears me out, but when I try to rest it seems to naturally creep back up. I have a hard time waiting for God to tell me what to do. He takes too long for my comfort level so I end up trying to make something happen on my own. I wonder if much of it is due to societal pressue to be successful (their definition of it, not God’s). Am I setting my goals too high? Or am I setting the wrong goals altogether? Maybe it’s a bit of both. I’m feeling a lot like Solomon in Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes 2:17-26 (New Living Translation)
The Futility of Work
“So now I hate life because everything done here under the sun is so irrational. Everything is meaningless, like chasing the wind. I am disgusted that I must leave the fruits of my hard work to others. And who can tell whether my successors will be wise or foolish? And yet they will control everything I have gained by my skill and hard work. How meaningless!
“So I turned in despair from hard work. It was not the answer to my search for satisfaction in this life. For though I do my work with wisdom, knowledge, and skill, I must leave everything I gain to people who haven’t worked to earn it. This is not only foolish but highly unfair. So what do people get for all their hard work? Their days of labor are filled with pain and grief; even at night they cannot rest. It is all utterly meaningless.
“So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that this pleasure is from the hand of God. For who can eat or enjoy anything apart from him? God gives wisdom, knowledge, and joy to those who please him. But if a sinner becomes wealthy, God takes the wealth away and gives it to those who please him. Even this, however, is meaningless, like chasing the wind.”

I have dreams, visions for my future, and I’ve been going over the plans again and again, as if I’m the one that needs to make them happen. But isn’t God on my side? Has he not been there for me all these years? Hasn’t he proved that he knows what I want and what I need, and that he can bless me with all of that? Take your dreams and visions and write them down, draw pictures even, and then submit them to God and wait. In the waiting, we know what we have to do. Build relationships, walk with God, enjoy what he’s given us and trust him to carry out HIS plans.

XM: The Ellen Show
Mood: Okay

Today’s health score: Fibromyalgia-1, Mindy-0. Extra tired, achy, and cranky. Not a great combo for the people who have to work with me all day. I think after work I’ll go for a walk and then take it easy for the rest of the night.

The search for a receptionist went well and we should have one here in the office by next week! I am very excited about this as I am completely overwhelmed with tasks here at work.

Mike was interviewing for a great job but didn’t get it. All of you who knew about it may have assumed that by now, since you hadn’t heard from me. It wasn’t really news I was in a hurry to share. We are bummed but he still has a great job (even if the hours suck). We are grateful for that.

I’ve been tracking the stats of my blog on statcounter.com and it’s interesting what search terms bring people here:
countdown to spiderman 3; purseket television; paystub creator; $300 worth of coins; staci jenna; beals institute, lansing, michigan; introvert leader speaker; hate mindy; (who knows what they were looking for..); clear care where; clear care availability; storybook love xm; Living in Reno; cutting her hair; children of divorce; patch eye.

I can also see the ISPs of who is visiting and where they are from. There’s someone in New Jersey that keeps visiting and I’m curious who it is.

I’m reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. This seems to be the best time in my life to read this book. I have meant to read it for years but never seemed to get around to it. I’m glad I waited. I’m only a few chapters into it but so far I’m enjoying reading about shifting paradigms and the importance of the journey and all of that. As I read I feel the pressure of the advocacy center lifting from my shoulders and I am reassured that it’s okay to take my time and be patient with the process. A dream or aspiration should always be seen as a positive thing and never a burden.

XM: Greg Laswell – “Do What I Can”
Mood: Strangely peaceful

For lunch today: A pleasant concoction of fresh nectarine, granola, plain yogurt and sugar. It’s great that the plain yogurt is all natural (one ingredient: vitamin A milk) but it really needs sugar to take the edge off. For breakfast I ate an english muffin with all natural peanut butter (Ingredients: peanuts, salt. Guess what? It tastes just like peanuts. Go figure.). Yum. Would anyone like to guess why I prefer nectarines over peaches? See #20 on Mindy 101.

Work has been rather busy lately, although nothing like Mike is experiencing with that crazy 72-hour sale Chevrolet is having. We have so many projects coming up and not enough workers, so I have been scheduling interviews and handing out applications and offering beverages for the last two days. It’s not my kind of thing. It reduces me to a headless chicken. I need an assistant.

I need an assistant… My segue to my next task: scheduling interviews with receptionist applicants. Again. The last time we opened this position it went to the boss’ daughter. She had plans to go off to college in June so it was only temporary, and now that she’s gone it’s time for me to get a real assistant. Not that the boss’ daughter was a figment of my imagination, it’s just that she didn’t really care about the job. I do need someone who cares, otherwise it just makes more work for me and that really defeats the purpose of hiring an assistant in the first place.

Advice for job-seekers: If you are applying for a position that involves administrative tasks such as preparing customer documentation, please-for-Pete’s-sake use correct spelling and grammer on your resume and cover letter. Do these people really think their application will get a second glance? Not from me, that’s for sure. Delete-o is where it goes. My other pet peeve with these applications is the astounding number of resume’s that state they are looking for a position with a medical office. The job posting lists us as a communications technology company, so I can see where they would get confused. Come on, you can’t take 10 seconds to rewrite your objective to suit the job you’re applying for? Delete, delete.

Despite having to do this thing they call “work” while I’m here, I love my job.

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH:
Mike had that one complete night of sleep, but the last two nights has had the headaches again. Two on Wednesday night and one on Thursday night. He saw a neurologist yesterday. He left with several treatment options. We’ve heard that the best treatment for cluster headaches is oxygen. Simple as that. So we now have an oxygen tank sitting in our living room. Mike woke up last night at midnight with another headache (they call it The Beast) and tried the oxygen. It worked in a matter of minutes and he was back to sleep in no time. He slept soundly the rest of the night. The fee to rent the oxygen regulators for one month turns out to be about twice their cost, so Mike bought one on e-bay. The oxygen tanks are 15 bucks each. We’ll see how long one lasts. Aren’t we too young to be dealing with oxygen tanks?

ERGONOMICS:
I installed (meaning Mike did it for me) a keyboard tray under my desk at work so now I can type with my arms bent at a 90 degree angle. Typing with ease. And I don’t even have to pull the tray out because there is plenty of room for my hands in between the keyboard and the underside of the desk. I’ve never had trouble typing without looking when it comes to letters, but finding the number keys has been quite a challenge. I love a challenge. Well, this kind anyway.

GOOD STUFF:
A title from one of the many great songs in the B-52′s Time Capsule. I found the cd stuck in with my computer disks this morning and we are getting re-acquainted. Mesopotamia, Private Idaho, Rock Lobster, Quiche Lorraine, and Is That You Mo-Dean? Gimme some of that Good Stuff, baby.

Seriously. I’m not sure why this is, but maybe it is just the joy that Monday is over. Tuesday is a sign that the week is moving on. Now don’t misunderstand, I’m not one of those who has a case of “The Mondays” every single week, but there is something discouraging about having to go back to work after a solid two days of freedom. But Tuesday means everything will be okay. I do love my job, after all.

Not that anyone would be interested, but I caught up on my filing this morning. I thought I had better get it done early, before the heat kicks in. And I needed to have it done this week anyway, since we are moving the office to our new building on Friday. The more organizing I can do now, the smoother the transition. Anyway, it feels good. That’s all I’m sayin’.

I have a stewardship meeting at church tonight. Should be interesting.

(Am I just the biggest geek ever?)